since last nite my heart feel so down. i cant even sleep well last nite. keep wake up from a nighmare. i even sms sushan and tell her how i felt. she know why im like that. guess only she can understand that kind of feelings..
'Things' that i thought i had let go i had go through still will come across me when i feel upset or lonely. it's really uncontrollable. Even when i am working i still cant let myself stop thinking 'it'..i tried but i cant..my heart feel so heavy..i cry when Mdm went for her dinner..i hide myself in the office and cry. i cant hold my tear anymore. i know things that happen cant be changed anymore. i understand. but i hardly to accept the facts. it means alot to me. it's special for me. it's not a thing that can let go just when i want to let it go.
hahaha..im always good in saying all this to myself and myfriends..but actually i cant do it. maybe im just a human..a normal girl..need what a girl need..
*sigh* i dont know what else i can do..i think u guys really see i putting effort on going through it..and im happier than last time..but still, it cant last very long..because my heart is uncontrollable..
ps: i just private my blog..
Just random ramblings
15 years ago
3 comments:
I don't really know how to comfort you.. because I know is hard to deal with relationship stuff.. if that's what the "it" and "things" means.. if I am on wrong wavelength here.. just ignore me.. I told you before about my first relation that after 6yrs ended in 18 Nov 2001.. yea.. I still remember that.. well.. I guess the more we try to forget.. the more we will remember.. and till today.. after so many years.. I still have that tiny bit of wound that never heal.. till today.. but I can live with that and don't intend to forget about her.. part of my life.. so WEN.. don't force yourself.. naturally after some time you will go through this.. okay.. again I am sure it won't help much no matter what I say.. but err.. cheer up girl.. “Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.”
Olla! Haha... You privatised your blog already? Really scared what Sinyee said will happen? oHhH~~~
Btw, you cried in the HR office? *gasp* *gawk* So scary lar... Don't feel so sad lar. How if someone saw you crying? Then they will gossip about the 'sotsot' HR clerk (that's you!) that will cry alone and got mental problem. Lolx~ I mean, don't cry already lar, and don't think about whoever or whatever that bothers you.
Lalala~ Yeah... Did my MUET Speaking test. Feel more relaxed and rejoiced now... Lalala~
You also, be happy always ya!
thanks to vince and david for the comments. I feel better now. i nearly involve in accident this evening. that time i was fetching sinyee,shok yee and phaik shian. i think the got scared. but i feel lik nothing. still very blur and dont know what is actually happening. im wasnt concentrate! my carelessness nearly hurt my friends's life..i shouldnt repeat it again. Sorry for my dangerousness. im not a safe driver. i admit that. any way to improve? i feel happier now..maybe just when go out wit calvin,eiling and billy..we talk alot craps and i drive QUITE fast..so my heart like feel very light d..GOOD THING!
i'll stay happy and remain the crazy huan huey wen k?! promise!..haha..but when i emo,sorry lor then..uncontrollable mar =p
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