how saD?

i did something very very silly last night..until now i cant remember whether im awake or dreaming when sending that 5 pages of sms to my ex..i really shocked when i see my send items has his name..what the heck i am doing?why i still send him sms..why?! how did it happens? and..he never reply. should i feel happy or sad? what does it means? no more relation between us? ya,im sturborn. although i understand but im still like that. i hate myself for not determine what i've decide. i always change what i have decided. when im working..i keep make careless mistake. I think Ms Quah sure very dissappointed with my performance. I think i work better last time..sorry! i will correct my mistakes so that i wont repeat the same mistakes again.. * it's hard to be a good person than a bad person * i scold my uncle(my mummy's elder brother) today..it's not tegur.But i really scold..VERY VERY LOUD that kind. Both of my parents just watching and listen what i scold..they also didnt say me anything. My uncle's son terkena hot water and his back got burnt. The skin all came out. So sad when i see it. My mummy told me. But i never go and see it. until just know..when i see it,i cry..how can it happens to a 3 years old children? the wound so big..it's like 3/4 of his back got burnt. what i angry is, my uncle dont let my mum apply medicine on the wound. I know my mum always care for him and also my uncle. I knew it. But my uncle never appreciate but always blame my mum for this and that. and today i really cant stand him anymore. i scold. and my uncle keep remain silent. anyway,i dont think he will accept my advise or try to change as he is also a very sturborn person. for him,he's always right. and everyone wanted to harm him and his sons. maybe i should felt pity for him cause he marry a wrong wife. his wife has some mentally problems and his son got affected. i think it's because the gens or kromosom from my aunt.. know what? after my mum wrap the wound and apply the medicine that gave by the doctor. My uncle tear it up..he say it's hurt. i understand he feel hurt. but we feel hurt too. but that's the cure. and the medicine will just cause pain a short while. my uncle do1 listen. and do u know what he want to do? he apply a medicine which is very very 'pedas' to sapu on his wound..swt! i crying..that children cry so loud. I shout to STOP! im a outsider..i just can advise. no matter how i advise how i say he just dont want to listen. and he say im not a doctor,i dont have the right to give such advise. so what about him? i get that kind of wound b4..i understand which is good and which is bad. he console me that that 'oil' is not pedas by sapu it on his hand..please!ur hand dont have any wound so how can u feel hurt? cant u just see ur son wound..the skin all lost. u wanna apply that kind of oil to him?ur son? i swt with ur bullshit--->pedas=make the wound cure faster... yea..that children is not my son or siblings..but only cousin. I shouldnt care much..i still feel angry..i really feel deep hurt for that. the children cry almost an hour after he apply that oil..then in the end only he let my mummy and i clear up that oil..and apply the 'cream' that gave by the doctor. stupid~ u let ur son take this risk? why not u try to put some hot water..then try to put that oil..i think u'll understand how your son feel..if u always think my mummy is harming u and ur son..just go away lar..why u still bother my mummy. my daddy scold mummy uncountable time just because of u and ur son..u will never knew it..my mummy dont want to let u know and she also dont let i tell..u can be the best father in your son's heart..but please think what is right and what is wrong before doing something..and please take people advise as a guide but not just merely listen and forget it.. im sad~