for the first time

it happened the night before i had my Pengantar Pengurusan examination.. i seriously very scared and i couldnt study well..perhaps, i just can study for 'a few minute'.. guess im having a 'monkey minds' which like to wander away when i am studying. I wasted so much time. i keep thinking someone i dont wish to think.. i keep thinking something that i dont want to think.. i just cant control myself..no matter how hard i try to focus what im reading, i still will think of them! grrr......... in the end, i took my hp and was trying to find someone to talk..but guess what? i could not get anyone to sms..it's not because i dont have a good friends..it's just i dont feel like disturb them since they have exam around. sorry, friends. Nevertheless, i put my MSN status ONLINE and searching for someone to chat. But..the situation almost the same..most of my friend's PM all about having exam lar..stress lar..and their status is away.. But i still able to get some of them to chat with me.. the 1st person i pm was my god bro, wei chyi..i was asking him something about horoscope. I thought he's Virgo but my thought was wrong. haha. he's Libra. Anyway, he advised me not to believe horoscope thingy and entertain me for a short while before continue his game..lols.. then the 2nd person i find is Melvin..long time didnt chat with him d..haha..got some advise from him and plan to meet him after my final.. then 3rd is BearBear..forgot what we had chat..but then i remember after chatting with him, i feel better and decided to continue with my revision :D Ohhh..now i remember..he was asking to try think about other people instead of the person i dont want to think..but actually it's nt working..i fail to control myself..sorry IF i disappointed u.. 4th..was chatting with VJ..he asked whether i want to play games. He promised just for a short while and i agreed. He sent me a picture..

..and he asked what can i see from the picture.. i told him the answer and he said my brain has been corrupted. He get to see what it is at his first look. He tell me the answer after that. And i keep asking myself whether my brain really corrupted or is just because im not used to playing this 'game'?

After that..i continue with my studies..but i really cant focus. I still thinking the same person and the same thing..and add with is it my brain has been corrupted? haih..i stress till cry.. i miss my family then..i sms my mum,"sleep d? can u give me some words to motivate me? mi..i miss you!"

It's already 2am when i sms her..i though i wont get any reply from her but she called me back. After talking to her and my sister, i cry even louder..it's my first time i'm crying and tell mummy i stress and cant concentrate what im reading..after talking with mummy, i feel a lot better. She asked me to sleep and she will wake me up at 7am to continue my revision. Then, i try my best to get a good sleep..and when i sleep..i am listening to Jay's Ting Ma Ma De Hua..

my roomie had slept that time but i guess my horrible crying voice didnt woke her up..I asked her whether she heard anything the next morning but she say NO..lols..

For that Pengantar Pengurusan..i really did badly. Out of 100mcq..i just know the answer for 30mcq..others all tembak tembak tembak! haih..i know it's bad..i really try my best to think back what i had studied..but i can't recall them when im answering the questions.. Guess i dont even can get B for it..maybe just C..should feel grateful right..C still consider pass rite? haha..i calculate my mark after pass up my papers..

30/100 X 30% = 12

means for sure i will get 12 and after add with 40.5 ..then i'll get about 52.5 for my Pengantar Pengurusan. LOL! That's all for Pengantar Pengurusan..

Now i stuggling for another hectic subject ---> Tamadun Islam dan Tamadun Asia Tenggara (TITAS) another subject that need to memorize..another subject dont have calculation.. I did not plan to study that text book..it's TOO MUCH and full with WORDS! i can count the image in that book with my hands..luckily i didnt take law or else sure fail d..lols~ SuYing(my direct senior) said.."do past year and i'll be fine"..

that's what im going to do now..ofcourse if i have time, i will go through some important topic in that text book..can really ignore it also lar..i dont want to get another C lor.. :( The marking scheme so weird u know..

Example like: 1. Berikut adalah ajaran Islam a) mencuri - salah b) merompak - salah c) menyata - salah d) bertimbang rasa- betul e) berbudi bahasa - betul

Marks : 1/5 X 5 =1 mark ONLY

2nd example.. 1. Berikut adalah ajaran Islam a) mencuri - betul b) merompak - salah c) menyata - salah d) bertimbang rasa- betul e) berbudi bahasa - betul

Marks : (1/5 X 4) - (1/5) = 3/5 ONLY

3rd example.. 1. Berikut adalah ajaran Islam a) mencuri - b) merompak - salah c) menyata - salah d) bertimbang rasa- betul e) berbudi bahasa - betul

realised my answer for A is blank? ok..the mark will be 1/5 X 4 =4/5

thus, we are advised not to do anything with the answer if we are not sure.. swt? im swt-ing =.=

How to tembak? leave all blank? correct add mark but if wrong deduct mark..lol..dont stress myself d,, just do my best preparation! :D

I wont feel that stress d..im really overstressed that night. I promised mummy to phone her whenever i feel stress or need someone to talk. I know she sure will worry me, so i dont want to see myself breakdown AGAIN! hhw, stand up!!!

Oklar..going to had my dinner and continue "pia" for TITAS d.. wish me luck and pray for me..thankkew~ :D