disappointment

i really really feel like crying now..the hope never come true. Yea he get but he is not going. So i have the answer now. i dont have to put any hope for it..102%!! i shall put a full stop in this matter. I should shut off my heart again.. this is what i want right? but why i dont feel any happiness but only disappointment. i hope this will be the last blog i write smth bout him. Someone ask me dont write things about him anymore. And i feel what someone says is right. So let me write kau kau..can ark? for the last time.. i start.. i very love that person. although i know it will not bring any happy ending but somehow i always hope one day everything will changed or times will turned back to past. how silly i am? when im with him, i feel very happy and safe. Im not me when im with him. i bcm more sopan than usual. i feel he's very intelligent. everyday when i wake up or before i go to sleep, he's the only person i miss. Until i get to join my college team play tennis. we two started to have long distance relationship problems. I feel so dilemma at that time. but it doesnt matter now. i cant changed anything..it had happened..maybe he's not belongs to me. i shudnt so serious in that relationship until i make myself so miserable like now.. from now on, i wont hope more..i wont think much..perhaps,i will just cherish whatever i have now. U can hate this kind of me. Im hating myself also. for being so stupid. like what someone say..it's long enough. I understand it more than anyone else. But too bad..no one can understand that kind of feelings..at here,i promise all of u who read dis..i will delete all his msgs n pictures in my hp..and also laptop b4 i go to UKM..that's the promise.. haha..suddenly feel lik telling myself..'hueywen, move on! dont turn back! dont be afraid! u still have your family and friends! just make sure u study hard and excel in ur studies!" thanks blogspot for letting me express how i feel now..im feel better now..i will kept my promise..the last blog about him..and also delete all the sms n pic.. im crying now..after keeping the tears for so long..im weak..not as tough as u all think..even im good in advise peoples or listen to peoples problems..but when it come to me,i dont know how to comfort myself..